“Yeah, but you were a pretty wild guy in college yourself, weren’t you, Dad?”
The question propelled Bill H., an attorney from Okemos, Michigan, back in time. His son Brian was right—in high school and college, Bill had had a reputation as a hard drinker. He and his roommates in his first apartment drank so much they proudly made tables and bookcases out of boxes of empty beer bottles. The worst part of that period of Bill’s life was that he’d thought nothing of driving while intoxicated. Fortunately he got through it without a major disaster and thinks he was “damn lucky” to have escaped clean. But he was in a quandary—should he share this part of his past with his son, who was just about to get his driver’s license?
He certainly didn’t want Brian to take after him in that respect. Or after his wife, Tanya, Brian’s stepmother. In her twenties, she had been a disk jockey at a rock station in Wisconsin and has been frank with Brian and his younger brother about her drug use in those days. She admits that she had smoked marijuana and gotten high on Quaaludes, but she always makes it clear to the boys that she’d stopped using drugs within a few years and is thankful that she quit before it seriously affected her health.
It’s Not Cool to Be Cool to Your Kids
“The style of parenting today very much involves being a friend to your child,” says Tom Hedrick, a director and founding member of Partnership for a Drug-Free America. “Many parents want to appear ‘cool’ to their teens, but those of us in the field would remind parents that when it comes to drugs, this is a very different day than when we were growing up.” Hedrick would agree with Tanya’s approach but recommends adding a warning. “Tell your teen,’ I was lucky enough to get through it, but I expect you not to use drugs and if you do there will be consequences.’ Kids actually appreciate those limits and can use ‘my parents will kill me’ as a way to resist peer pressure.”
