Okay, I admit it. I secretly think I’m smarter than most of the population. Please don’t hold that against me, I truly am pretty humble with the rest of my self image. I know that while I feel twenty, I look forty (yes, it’s a FOUR before the zero ... I’m still getting used to it and hope the more I write it the more comfortable I’ll get with it). I realize my rear end has a texture issue. I’ve accepted that my boobs will slip into my armpits if I lay on my back while not wearing a bra. I know that if not for the modern wonders of Crest White Strips and Garnier Nutrisse Dark Natural Blond #70, I would have, in the words of my daughter, “golden teeth and silver hair.” I, feeling that gold and silver should be reserved for jewelry, am religious about using these two products.
Because being smart is on my “Top Ten Things Needed to Succeed in Life List,” I have high expectations for my children’s careers. I think my kids are pretty bright. My daughter in a creative and inquisitive way and my son in a quick-witted and biting tongue way. For the last two years, my daughter has said she wants to be a veterinarian. I think this is hysterical because the child spent the first five years of her life TERRIFIED of any animal on the planet. We had a very unfortunate incident with a live bunny and some Easter pictures the year she was two-and-a-half. Neither the bunny nor my daughter made it out unscathed. But, she’s moved on and I think it’s great she wants to be a vet. We’ll see if I still feel this way if she’s accepted into vet school and the tuition bills start to come. My son on the other hand … well, let’s just say he will probably take a less conventional route. And I’m really fine with that … within reason. I work hard to develop in him a work ethic without boring his free spirit to death. We talk a lot and it’s rare he mentions what he wants to be when he grows up … he’s usually too busy having fun to be concerned with a downer like a career, so I don’t push it. However, he recently brought it up all on his own. Here’s how it went:
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