Reassurance on Raising Girls

It’s tough raising a daughter these days. When my daughters were young and we went grocery shopping, I tried to check out in the “no candy” aisle to prevent the onslaught of the whining and pleading for the sugar-laden snacks. As my daughters grew older, I wished for a “no tabloid” aisle to avoid the discussion of why young starlets are super skinny and super skanky. Like me, many parents of teen girls hope that their talks about the consequences of making bad choices have been proven in the tabloids. Exploits of the three most popular young women Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears have ended in prison, rehab, and mental illness. It can make any parent of a little girl shudder about what lies ahead.

Media Gone Wild

So much of the media is focused on sensationalizing these stories and fueling the frenzy of “catching” young celebs in the act of public drunkenness, lewdness, and other mindless antics. Their obvious motivation is to get higher ratings, more subscribers, or more hits on their websites and blogs, while causing parents to cringe at every birthday that looms closer to the teen years.

Parents Matter

Family Matters Radio takes a different approach. We focused our attention on the positive aspects of raising daughters and empowering parents to meet the challenges with confidence and love. Recently we talked with Karen Stabiner author of MY GIRL: Adventures with a Teen in Training, who says girls have gotten a bad rap. (Listen below) For example, only 3 percent have diagnosable eating disorders and the rates of teen sex and drug abuse have gone down in recent years. In her book, Stabiner documents her life with her adolescent daughter, Sarah, digs deeper into the research on girls, and interviews many mothers and daughters. The good news is that parenting does matter.

Girls Take Action

The girls are fighting back too, finding resources and support to help them take a stand on self respect and dignity. We talked with Susan Fee a mental health counselor who is the founder of Circle of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. , a social skills development program that empowers girls with knowledge about self-esteem, positive friendships, communication, feelings, and stress management. We were also impressed with guest Wendy Shalit, who at twenty-three, bucked conventional wisdom with her book A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue, and recently documented the lives of other “rebellious good girls” for her latest book called GIRLS GONE MILD: Young Women Reclaim Self-Respect and Find It’s Not Bad to Be Good.  

Reality Check on Repression

Should we be concerned that these attitudes encourage repression instead of expression? According to Shalit “The problem is that if we only focus on one narrow notion of empowerment—taking your clothes off in public, being casual about sex, that sort of wildness—then girls don’t have real choices.” As parents who love our daughters we must allow for another idea of empowerment, and help them discover what that looks like and support every step.

Listen Now, Part One




Listen Now, Part Two






Girls gone wild! Today’s headlines scream about the outrageous antics of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan. But are these young woman the norm or the exception and should we be worried about the example being set for our young girls? Caroline and Jacquie will  find out when they talk with Karen Stabiner, author of MY GIRL: Adventures with a Teen in Training.

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