Do You Have It? Bars of Soap Can Be Slippery, You Know

As a parent I have done my best to train them up in the way that they should go. I have given them principles and instructions and taught them what it is that the Word of God says on various issues. In the long run, though, I know that it might just take them experiencing a few things for themselves to really learn these lessons. I don’t want to stand by and let them make these decisions, but the alternative is to insert myself into their world in a forceful, unwanted way and that has its own negative consequences. I am once again striving to hold onto that slippery bar of soap.

This has once again come to the forefront of my mind because of a son that is currently involved with a young girl, and we watch with fear and trepidation as they appear to be getting closer and closer at the tender ages of sixteen. It is scary. We want him to make good choices, but we cannot for all intensive purposes be there every minute to guide him in all of his actions. He must make choices for himself. I would like very much to forbid this and forbid that. I would like very much to demand that they not spend time together. I would like very much to tell him not to hold her hand, not to put his arm around her shoulders. I want to scream to him that he is so clueless as to the power that is behind his hormones and emotions that are driving him currently. I want to MAKE him see what it is I am talking about. I want him to truly KNOW that my fear is valid. I want him to KNOW that he is walking on dangerous, soggy ground and can quickly sink into a region of space that might threaten to undo him.

I do my best. I talk to him about these issues. I remind him of what it is that God expects of us. I remind him that he is bought at a price, that his body is not his own, that he should do all things unto the glory of God. I remind him that he is too young for a marital relationship and that certain physical behaviors are reserved just for that—marriage. I try to gently warn him that one behavior leads to another and that in the end he might not be as strong as he thinks he is. I DO tell him he needs to be resolved in his mind to set limits and boundaries and commit to stick to them. I pray and I pray and I pray. And you know what? He does seem to listen.

He will actually tell me that I have some good points, though he thinks I am making more of it than need be. He will tell me he knows what I am saying to be true. I feel better for a time. It is good that we can have these talks. His father has his own talks with him in more fatherly, manly ways. Together we are hopeful that he will remember our words of admonition when push comes to shove.

Right now he only spends time with his girlfriend in mixed company.