Even knowing the health concerns, though, might not be enough to stop the stubborn, headstrong, or increasingly image-conscious teen. Therefore, it’s time for action. Some options:
#1: Just say no
Putting your foot down stresses how important this decision is to you, says Robert Butterworth, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. “We all know from our teenage years that a lot of the weird things we did were phases,” he says. “But when you start doing something that’s going to make it difficult to function in the world, then parents have to step in and say, ‘Not until you leave home.’ And kids aren’t going to like it.” Indeed, Diane W.’s daughter got a belly button piercing when she was sixteen. “I took her to get it,” says Diane, forty, who lives in upstate New York. When her daughter approached her for a nose piercing, Diane outright refused. “That, to me, is over the line,” says Diane, who works as a sales consultant for a life insurance company. “It is a big commitment to make to your appearance for life. She pursued me about it for a while, but since she is now eighteen, I think she is happy that I didn’t allow it. Sometimes moms really do know best!”
#2: Know your child
If you refuse them, would they conceivably do the job themselves? Be sure your teens understand that there will be severe consequences if they pierce or tattoo themselves or a friend.
#3: Negotiate a deal
If your teen has her heart set on a tattoo, ask her to start off small, with a tiny rose or sunburst, or to pick an inconspicuous place, such as her ankle or shoulderblade. (You can also insist that you go with her to get the tattoo, which, in some cases, may be embarrassing enough to have her put it off!) You can also use delay tactics, such as telling your teen that he needs to “earn” his body decoration, perhaps through chores, or you can just flat out tell him he has to wait. Since body decoration can be an impulsive act, they might not want one anymore after they’ve grown up a little.
