Mother’s Days to Remember

“When’s Mother’s Day?” my eleven year old son asks from the backseat of my minivan.

“This coming Sunday, May 11th”, I answer.

And as so often happens, a simple question from my son inspires me to write.

I’ve had a few really special Mother’s Days in my life ...

1977—This is the first Mother’s Day I remember in detail, complete with the texture of color, sound, and smell. I had just turned ten and the Friday morning prior to Mother’s Day my mother woke me, before it was light outside, to let me know that she was in labor. Two days later on the morning of Mother’s Day, I was allowed to visit my mom at the hospital and meet, for the first time, my baby brother who now has a son of his own and another baby on the way. Until he began having his children, I was convinced I could never love another’s children as much as my own. I was wrong.

1995—I found out I was pregnant for the first time a week prior to Mother’s Day. I still have the Mother’s Day card my husband was smart enough to buy me and remember vividly the naive excitement regarding my pregnancy and what motherhood would bring. I knew that 1995 would be a turning point in my life. I knew that it would be a time when nothing that came before this year could compare to what would come after. I knew this would be the year I would finally become a grown-up. I just didn’t know how. I thought I did. I was wrong.

1996—I spent this Mother’s Day visiting the cemetery in a pouring rain, weeping for the baby boy buried in the tiny white velvet casket underneath a headstone with “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” engraved upon it. I seemed a million miles away from 1995. I thought I would never be at peace again. I thought I may never become a mother with a baby to hold. I was wrong.

1997—I spent this Mother’s Day learning to breastfeed my now eleven year old son. My husband surprised me with a ring that contained the birthstones of my son in heaven and the one at my breast. When my daughter was born three years later, she was kind enough to come two weeks early so that the ring now contains her birthstone as well. In the chaos of having a newborn after a very difficult delivery, I thought I would never get the hang of motherhood. I was wrong.