During her daughter’s senior year of high school, Natalie Caine suddenly realized that her life would soon be radically different. Not knowing where to turn for support or guidance, the Los Angeles-based speech therapist started an empty nest support group at her home four years ago. From there, the seed sprouted and today, she is the founder of Empty Nest Support Services, providing consultation and support for women struggling during this time in life when children spread their wings.
“Once every two months I’d have five other moms of daughters over to my house. We did pot luck, sat and ate and talked and cried and laughed... It is a support for the transition and new beginnings all of us could be living,” Natalie recalls.
As with many good ideas, this small beginning blossomed after Natalie began searching for other resources for women.
“There really is so little out there. People don’t talk about this time in life and it’s not found often in media,” Natalie says.
Today, her organization helps hundreds of women across the country through phone consultations and through an active supportive message board where women can console one another.
As this topic is new for me, I was surprised to learn just how debilitating this change can be for some women. Natalie says that some moms, whether they work full-time or not—suddenly find themselves slipping into a depression after their children leave home.
“I recall talking with one woman who had been working as a top executive for twenty-five years and after her children left home, just found that she couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. She found herself calling in sick. These women just need to know that they are okay—that they are normal. Talking with other women going through this is so helpful,” Natalie says.
Part of the problem for moms is that our identities are so wrapped up in being mothers—of nurturing others, taking care of our children and putting them first. When this is gone, the Earth suddenly seems a foreign place and women can find themselves searching for meaning, searching for identity, and taking stock of their lives. Rather than run from these thoughts and keeping busy to avoid facing these issues, Natalie strongly suggests that women embrace them: face them and obviously, with the support of others.
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