Moms Over Forty

In her book, Nancy outlines various ways forty+ moms can maximize time with their children, without trying to compete with the twenty-something moms.

One strategy is to have the younger moms of your child’s friends host the more active play-dates and then reciprocate by hosting low-key ones, such as sleepovers where you’re in charge of movies and hot chocolate.

“My daughter and I devised all kinds of ways to spend yummy time together. We would go to movies, museums—a lot of things that didn’t require me putting on rollerblades and go tearing down the street with her. I can’t pretend I’m twenty-five years old and put on spandex and break a hip,” Nancy says with a laugh.

While it is important to set limitations, Nancy also emphasizes staying in shape and working out. This is especially important as many children of older parents begin to realize how much older their parents are compared to their friend’s parents.

“There was a time when my daughter was young that I was sick with the flu. She actually told her friend that I was dying. I was shocked. For my book, I interviewed children of older mothers and their responses were both hilarious and serious—it’s a big issue,” she says.

For that reason, Nancy advises older moms to explain to their children that yes, they may die earlier than their friend’s parents, but it won’t likely happen any time soon and they are taking good care of themselves. She also says that when starting back into an exercise regime, to not tackle it like you would in your thirties.

“Adjust how you take care of yourself. I love to dance, as I grew up in the 60s and 70s. I don’t run anymore, but I dance. I find ways to get my heart rate up,” she says.

Raging Hormones

Exercise not only keeps you in better physical shape, but better mental shape as well. This is even more important for women who may be entering pre-menopause. It’s hard enough to tackle perimenopause symptoms, but combine it with the fluctuating hormones from giving birth and the exhaustion of little sleep, and you get a glimpse into the first weeks of a new, older mom.