Moms Over Forty

Nancy says that after giving birth, so many of the women she’s talked with complain of having bursts of anger and then just losing it and weeping. “When you combine the hormonal imbalance of giving birth with the hormonal imbalance of entering perimenapause, it’s not surprising. Often women are just prescribed anti-depressants by generalists.” That’s why she stresses the importance of finding a specialist who will test your hormones.

The Sandwich Generation Finally, many older women must split time between caring for an aging parent and the non-stop demands of a baby or toddler. In those cases, Nancy suggests giving room for error.

“Understand that you are doing the best that you can. Good enough is good enough. Forgive yourself for what you can’t do. Honor yourself for what you’re striving to do,” she says.

The social worker and author recalled a time when she had to take her young, “precocious” daughter to a Florida hospital when her mother was ill: “My daughter was six and full of energy. She was running up and down the halls of the hospital. It was a nightmare; a hard time for me.”

This is when support groups really help. Women going through the same things can suggest ways to help or just listen when times are harder than others. Part of being older is being wiser—and that means knowing when to accept help.