Did you really think your adorable, smiley baby would be that way forever? Sorry … the “terrible twos,” also known as baby temper tantrums, is a normal part of your child’s development as he learns self-control. As a parent, you may, at times, feel angry, helpless, or embarrassed as your once-angelic toddler becomes frustrated, angry, or disappointed—expressing himself by crying, screaming, or stomping up and down. “Who is this child?” you may wonder? The good news is that there are generally reasons for such behavior, and strategies to prevent and better manage these often trying times. The better news is that this phase is temporary, and that usually by age four, it tapers off.
Your child, after her first birthday (“twos” would infer two-year-olds only, but generally, this noisy period is between ages one and three), begins to discover her world, eager for control. Although wanting to make independent choices, her less than adequate skills and coping mechanisms when she doesn’t get her way (add a little tiredness, hunger, fright, etc.) quickly lead to frustration, temper, and a full-blown melodrama.
Reasons for Temper Tantrums.
A tantrum is often a way your child lets off steam. You may remember how your baby, at the end of a long day, cried (actually, droned) herself to sleep. Your pediatrician may have described this normal behavior as a “finding the right spot” activity. Other reasons may include:
- Not having the words to describe feelings and/or needs
- Not yet learning to solve problems on her own and becoming easily discouraged
- Feeling uncomfortable, ill, or having other physical problems which prevent her from expressing how she feels
- Reacting to stress or changes at home (it is almost impossible to “hide” domestic stress)
- Being jealous of a friend or sibling, whether it be for what they have or attention bestowed upon them
- Being unable to do the things he imagines, such as running, climbing, drawing, or making toys work
Sadly, most of the time, the reason(s) and trigger(s) are elusive and unclear!
Preventing Temper Tantrums.
Have you ever seen a dog-walker with a dozen perfectly behaved pooches? You can bet they all don’t act so well at home! Likewise, don’t be surprised if your child has tantrums only in front of you as children feel safer showing their feelings to the people they trust. And, a well-placed tantrum is one way of testing your rules and limits. Enlightened with this knowledge, the following may help reduce the chances and intensity of tantrums:
