You may be at the point where you’re wishing for a magic wand to make everything better between you and your child. The good news is, there is a panacea: Let him or her feel your warmth and understanding. That’s all. Sounds easy, right? Well, while real life often gets in the way of simple solutions like offering understanding, over time, parents are finding, with sensitive kids it actually works wonders.
One parent writes, “Here’s how understanding my child’s motivations helped me win with my six-year-old sensory-driven daughter:”
“The main thing I’ve found helpful with my daughter Julia is to work extra time into the day so I don’t have to rush her. She really takes her time with things and once I put myself in her shoes, I’ve realized that she’s not doing anything “bad,” she just is very detailed, resulting in things taking a long time.
“For example, when she eats, she takes forever. But if you watch her, it’s not that she’s not eating. It’s that she is eating very slowly. She seems to really take the time to chew and taste her food.
“When she puts her sandals on, she takes the time to really put them on correctly ... readjusting both the toe and the ankle Velcro so they feel just right.
“The seatbelt ... makes sure it’s not twisted and is just right.
“Feeding the cats ... takes time to make sure they both get exactly the same amount of food.
“Just tonight, I saw her staring at her dish during dinner (we were having spaghetti), and I reminded her “It’s getting late, we need to finish up.” She said, “Look Mommy, it’s the breast cancer ribbon!” She had been looking at the spaghetti and noticed that there was a piece in the shape of the pink ribbon.
“Building extra time into our day has made a huge difference. Instead of letting her “pokiness” drive me crazy, I just allow extra time for her to “smell the coffee.”
“That said, we were having an issue in kindergarten earlier this year with her teacher reporting that she was “not staying on task and not getting her work done in the allotted time.” After watching her and talking with her, I figured out the problem!
