1.) Be your own best friend. Take steps to unconditionally accept YOU. The stronger the love you have for your amazing self, the more naturally you will find acceptance for the wonderful beings your children are. It’s not a coincidence that the happier I am with me, the easier relationships become. (Wow, magic!)
2.) Embrace the concept that your child is doing what they are capable of doing at any given time. As a teacher, I often listened to parents say “But I think he/she could do so much better”, or my personal favorite, as a young student I’d hear my teacher intone, “She’s not working up to her potential.” Guess what? I must have been, if that is what I was doing! Read that again and really think about it! Then go read about KNR!
3.) Focus on your child when they have the floor, instead of trying to be the expert of their lives. If you find yourself unable to see your child as they are rather than through the eyes of your desires, you are not spending enough time addressing your own driving needs. When your true needs are met, you can enjoy the heck out of everything. No kidding.
4.) Give yourself credit for all the love and kindness you are currently giving yourself and your child. This list isn’t intended as a chiding about your parenting, so do take time to love what already is. THEN do more of those things you’re proud of more often and consistently.
Enjoy my children? You betcha. Because I can.
(My children are young adults now, and we’ve been applying the above concepts for years. For more info on becoming more loving while detaching, check out the UnParenting Rebellion and begin your journey of creating the family life of your dreams!)
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