Tip number 1: Understand
Get informed. Once you start to learn about the inner struggles that sensory driven kids experience, you begin to realize that your child feels terribly guilty about her heavy emotions and wishes she could just be “normal.” He also knows he is more clever, wise, and perceptive than most. You’ll learn that behind your child’s anxious or defiant behavior is a deep and nagging need to have his or her intense feelings acknowledged. Spend time talking with your child where he or she can open up. For example, plan for spending time with her in nature or work together with him to create a calm uncluttered quiet environment that’s free from chemicals and other subtle annoyances. As you spend time together, let your child know that you know he or she is wise and special and has very important things to offer the world.
Tip number 2: Validate
As you have likely found in the information-gathering stage suggested in tip number one, some children find their senses so overwhelming that they truly believe their presence in the world is a mistake, that they don’t belong on earth because nothing feels right and nothing fits right. It can be life-changing for your sensory driven child to hear and experience two main messages repeatedly: “You belong in the world” and “you belong in our family.”
Tip number 3: Accept
What works for most children most likely will not work for super sensory kids. Your sensitive child’s reasons for doing what he does runs deep. Punishing that behavior can cause your child to lose confidence in himself and feel helpless. Rather than rushing your child to make a decision, for example, you might say, “I know that choices might frustrate you and take you longer that others, but it’s because you’re weighing countless outcomes and looking at all the details.” That tells him you realize that being thoughtful or picky about his choices, (his clothing, his food, or his friends) is part of who he is and that it’s ok. This allows him to accept the sensory-driven part of himself that’s telling him what does and doesn’t feel good. Letting him know that you understand it’s his nature to feel things deeply and consider things slowly tells him that you are there for him and that you two can work as a team to deal with any decisions, challenges or upsets that may come in the future. While it may seem that this form of patience encourages slow behavior, it actually builds confidence towards his making quicker decisions in the future.
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