Another cliché of unknown origin that I, as a parent, see in a new light is “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” That is certainly true letting a child cry his or her way to better sleep. Danielle was the text book case—our other children’s experiences were quite another story. Travis had night terrors and terrible sinus trouble that kept us on sleep therapy with him for years. Sabrina, aka, #3, did not have much trouble falling asleep but Caroline is now giving us a run for our money. She used to be the best sleeper—put her in her bed, turn on the fish tank, turn off the light, see you in the morning. Now, our tiny tyrant, will kick and scream for two hours (literally—sometimes five minutes of crying can seem like two hours, but in this case it is actual clock ticks). She throws her precious blankie, sippy cup, and Elmo out of the crib in anger and then cries harder because her lovies are out of reach. Meanwhile, as I cannot sleep while my babies are in torment, cower under a blanket at 2 a.m. listening to the wind howl and my Caroline wail. On occasion, I will give in to my impulse to comfort and pick her up but this is the worst thing I can do (as my husband always points out). The screaming will begin anew as soon as I put her back down and last significantly longer than had I just let her fall asleep on her own because I gave her hope that someone might come if she just screams and kicks long enough
I have another new favorite parenting phrase. A dear friend, who is about to have her first child, passed it along. “Disciple requires effort.” Amen to that. She was once a sassy adolescent, criticizing her own parent’s efforts when she came up with this gem at the tender age of fourteen. Ah, the wisdom that comes out of the mouth of babes.
I can be the most logical parent in the world when it comes to setting rules for my children but when they cry, I can fold like a cheap card table. In my head, I know they are better off when they adhere to our standards but my heart’s wiring causes the blood flow to constrict and rational decision making to be suspended. I am so thankful I have my husband to keep me from giving in to these impulses that will render our efforts null.
