Parenting As If I Might Get Hit by a Bus Tomorrow

This man-on-man style of parenting works well, usually, when we are together. But oh-so-often I am alone, and I have to resort to Zone Defense.

At these times, I ask the children to do more for themselves and each other. I might have soapy hands, washing dishes, and be unable to refill a water cup, so I say things like, “Mom’s busy, you’ll have to do for yourself.”

And from this evolved my current style, known as, “Parenting as if I might get hit by a bus tomorrow.”

Do you feel it? That sharper sense of mortality? Ever since you grew up and became a parent? Did you find new fears and concerns in life? Do you look at corners of desks and tables differently now?

They say it is because you have made yourself responsible for another life. You feel like you have something to lose that is more important than yourself.

They are right, I think.

If I allow myself to ponder the demise of myself, I am more concerned for the welfare of my children than I am for the loss of me.

“Whatever shall they do,” my mind wails, mentally wringing my lily-white hands, “However shall they go on?”

I think of my husband. Heretofore, I had not realized he was color blind or outfit impaired, but he is. He’s excellent at brushing hair, but not so good at the styling of it, and his favorite food to make for the kids is mac-n-cheez with sausage.

Braiding? Precious little Easter dresses with bonnets, Mary Janes, and gloves? Regular portraits? Cupcakes for school? Not so much.

These are my strengths, not his.

His strengths are greater patience, and a greater willingness to rumble around and play with the kids. His concern is that the children be happy.

Thus began my teaching my children how to go on, on their own.

Every day I talk them through each thing I do. I teach them how to do it, and explain the importance of doing it. I ask them to do it for themselves.