Parenting As If I Might Get Hit by a Bus Tomorrow

Why is that?

Do moms naturally “mother?” Can dads fit into this same role, and do many of them simply step aside not because of a lack of ability, but because the job is already being performed?

Do these little things I value so much—eating how I deem “right,” knowing certain manners, keeping tidy, and so forth—really matter?

Does a child in a schoolyard look more obvious if missing a mother, versus a father?

Do fathers worry about how their children could get on with things they (the fathers) would teach, if the father himself wasn’t around?

My husband says that in all honesty, he doesn’t think about it. Heart-wrenching Michal Keaton movie plots aside, he says it doesn’t occur to him—at least not in the way it does to me—to worry about being mortal. He has a will, and a life insurance policy, and has set up as much as is possible were the unthinkable to happen. So with those safeguards in place, he shut that drawer and exists solely in the “parenting day by day” mentality.

I’m the only one who worries about teaching...just in case...I get hit by a bus tomorrow.

Lest you think that everything I do is governed by this mode of thinking, let me assure you it is not my overriding thought. It is merely a passing one.

My “hit by a bus” parenting is really more in the way of not wanting my kids to grow up, move out on their own and suddenly realize, “Oh SHIT! I have NO CLUE how to wash laundry/cook healthy meals/clean a house/pay bills/fix a garbage disposal/repair a tire/and so forth.”

I recall plenty of young adults I knew being utterly mystified about the practicalities of life. For some, it never even occurred to them to wonder how these things were done, or they had no idea they had some responsibility in such-and-such area because it was always magically done for them.

Although my parents spent ample time rendering me quite capable of many accomplishments, I still find myself forgetting tasks such as, “Oh rats! I’m supposed to drop ice and soap in the disposal once a month,” after paying a repairman $55 to clean it. That’s simply the tip of the iceberg. There are so many other things I forgot or never knew.