I'm on to them. 'Them' is the book industry that produces the glut of child rearing books that keep parents trapped on the always-trying-to-be-better-parents 'hamster wheel', and which, in reality, is just one colossal cash cow.
Perhaps the 'them' is actually a 'one'—one glib Gen X book publishing mogul, clad in his (or her) Ralph Lauren power suit, not giving two figs about the benefits of breast feeding and the prevention of ear infections, let alone the complexities of kindergarten readiness and children with Fall birthdays, but simply sitting in his mucky muck corner office brainstorming the craziest paranoia-inducing book titles he can think of and then hitting his speed dial to call upon his cadre of Stepford writers to crank out volumes of drivel designed to keep parents continually off balance.
Having realized all this, I was faced with a choice. I could call Mr./Ms. Mucky Muck and ask for a job (and when that didn't work...) or I could selflessly serve my fellow parenting community and offer my rebuttal to some of the books that cause us to mistrust our parenting skills. So below are real book titles that can be found at your local bookstore. The parenthetical observations are my gift to the global parenting population and their collective angst.
- Parents In Charge (Right, and I've got some dot.com stocks I can sell you.)
- When Mothers Work (Hmm... when exactly is it that a Mother doesn't work? I must have missed the memo.)
- Life After Baby (There's a life? Tell me where to go and get one and I'm there faster than you can say cracked nipples.)
- Tired of Yelling? (And?) Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child (What planet did you say you were from?)
- I Know My Child Can Do Better (Now, if only his teacher would cash that check I slid into her homemade Christmas card.)
- Birth Order Blues (Oh, please, will someone just get over that one?)
- Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children (Complete with a daily calendar to relentlessly remind you that you're not even close to making it to step 2 let alone steps 3 through 6!)
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