According to Dr. Sears, in addition to the baby’s weight, a pregnant woman carries an extra twenty-two pounds made up of the placenta, amniotic fluids, enlarged uterus and breasts, extra blood, and—horror of horrors—extra fat stores. These fat stores are genetically generated to protect mother and baby against starvation after birth. Some of this extra weight disappears immediately or soon after birth, but fat cells don’t go away, they stick around waiting for an opportunity to store energy and be of use again. My new friendly fat cells seemed to be ready for action, if not fully active. Over time, I’ve become accustomed to my new shape and when I look at my gorgeous baby, I can’t help but love my body and feel thankful for the ability to create him. I think this new feeling of gratitude and satisfaction came not with merciless starvation or exercise, but with support of other women in my position and my own acceptance of the changes in my life.
Recently, a very dear friend joyfully told me she was pregnant with her second baby. Immediately after imparting this wondrous news, she launched into a tenacious diatribe about her intentions to gain less weight than she had during her first pregnancy. I never really noticed that she had struggled to get the weight off, though I had envied her flat stomach when I was tackling my saggy belly. Evidently she, too, was plagued by her weight after giving birth and felt especially pressurized to get in shape to regain a physical relationship with her husband. I told her about the struggle I encountered with appearance and we looked at one another, shocked that we had such similar experiences, yet never discussed it or helped one another through the difficult time.
Recovery from the birth took me one month, recovery from the pregnancy will last a lifetime. I may continue to struggle with my new motherly body, but I won’t give up and I won’t let it shape my mood or self-confidence. Talking to other women earlier, especially my friends, might have helped me to avoid the crisis I experienced around my body image. I won’t make that mistake again. For now, I bought a child seat for my bike and some new running shoes and I’ve promised my friend to walk with her once she gives birth for the second time. All of us yummy mummies need to stick together.
