In my years of practice I have always made sure to let every mom-to-be know about the phenomenon called the “baby blues.” My training taught me that the subject should not only be discussed but that I should be prepared with informational materials on postpartum depression, and that I should show the partner how to look for signs of depression.
Once, during an appointment with a client, I was going through my spiel on what to expect after the birth when divine intervention revealed something to me: what if we renamed the baby blues, (removing the baby from the concept) calling them something closer to their purpose? That would be, opening of the heart.
What really happens in those weeks and months that follow birth? Why are we teary, emotional, and sensitive? I suggest that our hearts open wide when we hold our first true love in our arms. Sure, we have loved a man (or two) deeply in our lives. Some of us experienced true love for a brother or sister, or for our parents. But as we grew up our hearts closed up a little bit each and every day.
They may have closed up for self-preservation, after our first break up; or because we have been hurt by a family member, or because a friend (or someone we thought was our best friend) hurt us. We have even shouted to the heavens, “I will never fall in love again!” by way of attempting to lock those doors and throw away the key.
Then we allowed our partners in. We may have made a conscious decision to have a child, and in so doing we cracked the doors of our hearts slightly ajar, or even a lot.
Yet, when our baby, the fruit of our loins, was placed on our bosom the gates of our heart flew open. We became enchanted with how much we could feel. Of course we cried often; we became emotional and sensitive.
But what people call the blues was in essence a very ancient feeling, one that shocked us and even overwhelmed us. We asked ourselves, “Is it possible we are truly able to love this much? Can we bear it? Do we deserve it? Are we good enough to be mothers? When did we feel like this before? Did we not love our mom as much when we were first born? Did we not cry to be in her arms?”
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