For example, when I first started breastfeeding my daughter, it was sheer agony. Still cracked and bleeding after meeting with a lactation consultant, I called my girls (my mom friends, not my breasts, that is!). I literally called every friend with a child that I could think of just trying to find some answers—and some relief. Then, I ran into a mom of twins at my post-natal yoga group. As she secured her daughters across her body in matching slings, she confessed that breastfeeding her twins was the hardest thing she ever has done. She joked that when things got tough, or when she really felt like a beer, then she would pop one of the pain meds that her doctor gave her for her C-section and life would be a lot better. Not that I’m advocating prescription drug use, but that’s hilarious. Her attitude and her self-proclaimed title of “a trooper” was an inspiration to me. I didn’t stop complaining completely, but I figured if a mother of twins (with no reprieve) could do it, so could I.
Since so many of us are having children in cities (or countries) where our families do not live, it is essential to let other moms in for support. It’s scary to put yourself out there or to trust another person who is not a member of your family to care for your child. It becomes crucial though, as no one can do it alone. Whether it is to swap babysitting or stories, the network you create will sustain you. My husband is super supportive, but he is (obviously) a man. Sometimes his fresh perspective is exactly what I need, other times it creates more stress for me.
A great way to meet moms is through classes. I joined a prenatal yoga class when I was pregnant with my daughter. The class gave me time each week to be around pregnant woman and to share the ups and downs of pregnancy. Many of these moms kept on going to yoga after the birth of their child. The support that we enjoyed as pregnant women continued as we all became first time moms. Exercise classes such as Mommy and Me classes or Gymboree are a great way to get active and meet other moms as well. Another great way to reach out is to join a playgroup. Even if you have an infant, she can lie on the ground and play while you chat with other moms. To find a playgroup, you may want to check with your church or synagogue, look up moms clubs online, or Google moms groups to get a list of sites, such as Moxie Moms, Mothers and More, Mom’s Club, etc.
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