The downside of an anonymous women’s group is, of course, the potential cattiness. Did I say cattiness? That’s too kind a word. The wrong people on UrbanBaby can create a vibe that is seething and dangerous. This usually happens late at night, when bored, unhappy wives have gone past their one glass of Syrah, the kids are in bed, and the husband is still at work (or somewhere else). I saw a post once where a woman poured her heart out about her unhappy situation at home, and another simply wrote “Wah. Who cares?” But this is the dark underbelly of a useful tool, and my advice to a new user is: if you get the feeling there are trolls on the board, log off and come back later.
As women become more powerful in the business world, whether they have children or not, they need a place to cross-pollinate. If they’re stay-at-home parents managing the 401(k), or single equity fund partners fighting insomnia at 2 a.m., they want and need to exchange ideas with other people. Men need this too, but they’ve always had poker games, men’s clubs, and golf. It’s become a part of their life, and it can leave women feeling alienated and in need of their own forum. Working mothers used to be embarrassed to ask questions about diapers and teething, because it made them feel powerless and shallow. Now they can use it as a vehicle to get into the real discussions: about money, law, politics, and power.
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