I am a vigorous advocate of women in the workplace, and am energetically in favor of equality at home. I become enraged when there is any assumption that I am responsible for domestic chores just because I am a female. I detest holidays when they require the women to cook and clean while the men watch football. I hate that if my husband forgets to write a thank-you note, it reflects on me, not him. It is irritating that women—including me—apologize for a messy house. I find it sad that some men (not my husband) think that baby rearing is ultimately the female’s responsibility.
Though Bennetts disingenuously states that she is not entering the “Mommy Wars,” that is simply not true. She casts judgment on all women who pare down their careers in order to juggle the demands of home. She says they are forsaking financial, creative, and intellectual rewards in order to docilely ease the man’s trip up the career ladder.
Bennetts is another female author and thinker who is content to lay all of the burden on women. She was part of the Baby Boomer generation that worked so hard to create more options for women. But in this book, she attempts to strip women of all options but one—doing everything for everyone.
I was heartened when I saw that Bennetts included a chapter—Chapter 11 of 14—entitled “Home Equity.” But instead of bolstering Bennetts’ position, it proved that she ascribes to an old-fashioned and infuriating notion that although the husband might “help” the wife with chores, ultimate responsibility still rests with the woman.
She writes: “With husbands, tender blandishments are particularly useful. These strategies admittedly take a lot of energy, but not as much as performing all the functions necessary to maintain home and family by yourself. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I hand my husband a list and say, ‘This is what I need you to do today.’ He may groan, but the jobs get done. I still have to supervise everybody—somehow he is never the one who remembers that our son needs new mosquito netting, baseball cleats, and basketball shoes for sleepaway camp—but I’m not the only one schlepping around town checking items off the packing list.”
