God’s Guidance Leads the Way

As I walk the trail, I marvel at the beauty of the stars in the firmament. They twinkle like small crystals hanging on a lighted chandelier. The pine trees in the distance look like hairy ghosts peering at me. The sheep in the valley blends in with the snow and the only way I know they are there is from their constant, b-a-a, and b-a-a. I also hear the cows bawling because they sense I’m on my way to feed and care for them. As I walk, I look into the sky, and I ask, “God, why did you do this to our family? Why are you punishing us?” I kick the snow with my foot and find I’m angry and I need to lash out at Him with everything I have in me. Then, I feel a deep sense of shame for what I’ve done. Mother and Dad have taught me to love God and not disrespect Him.

I hear, and echo, “Jason, Jason, are you alright! Jason, if you hear me answer me.” The sound comes closer and I see Mother has come to check on me, and she says, “I was worried about you son...I thought you could use some hot chocolate to keep you warm while you milked. Can I be of help to you? You know I can milk too? I use to when you Dad got sick...I don’t mind honest...really, I don’t.”

I reach over and pulled her close to my side, and say, “Mother, you are a special angel sent from Heaven to watch over me...I love you so much. Look at you, you are covered with snow and your hair is wet...you shouldn’t have come but I’m sure glad you did. I’m afraid you’ll get a cold. Here take my coat it will keep you warm. Yes, you can help me milk but just this once though okay? You have enough of your own chores to do without helping me out.”   

Mother grins and starts talking to the cows as though they were her own children. She grabs a hand full of hay and a bucket and sits down the way from me to milk. I watch her and see the love and care she gives to them too and I feel blessed to have her here with me. As I look outside, the daylight has lost its color to a shear darkness and the snow has lit the earth around us. For a minute, there’s no pain, no hurt, all feels alive and real once again.