“You are never going to get a weekend away until you bring in help. Leave your children with the grandparents, aunts and uncles they love. It’s natural to have close contact with family,” says Bartlik.
To be fair, some people have valid reasons not to leave their children with some relatives. Perhaps you have an alcoholic in-law or sibling who can’t or won’t seek help. Perhaps one relative is sick or just too old to deal effectively with the demands of children. Realistically, many women fear leaving the children with relatives because they just don’t do things the way they want them to. In the long run, is a few days of hot dogs, candy and soda really going to cause too much damage? Think of how wonderful that time will be for your children to have spent with family. If they are allowing things that you really disapprove of—such as letting a four-year-old play violent video games or watch R-rated movies, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart talk. Think about all of your options for help and, if necessary, hire your favorite sitter for one over-night.
My husband and I did that last May. Since we live in London now, quite far from family in the States, we hired Jana, my son’s favorite sitter who is a certified nurse midwife from The Czech Republic. She and William had a wonderful time playing at the park and running about in Spider-Man and Captain Hook costumes. Jay and I ended up staying at an Inn that wasn’t as nice as its pictures online indicated, and, as the English weather tends to do, it rained the whole day we were there. Regardless, we had a great time over a leisurely dinner chatting with locals from the village. We came back holding hands, smiling, and excited to see our son.
Sometimes I think I may be a bit too slack, as my husband and I are getting ready to go away to India for a week without our son. We are leaving him with his grandmother. I am certain that he’ll be spoiled daily with lots of “sweeties,” daily bacon and egg breakfasts, and nightly ice cream desserts. But you know what? He will be fine. And, I’m sure he’ll remember this week for the rest of his life. I certainly remember a summer in Colorado with my grandmother—the only good amount of time I ever spent with her. She was quirky, thought I was psychic, and took me to dog races and to her country club bridge games. It was delightful and I’m so thankful to have had that time. These moments should be cherished—as I know my husband and I will certainly cherish our romantic week attending an exotic Bollywood-style wedding in Jaipur! (Stay tuned.)
