Choosing a Guardian

To help in your decision, you may want to make a list of all your possible candidates and discuss the pros and cons with your partner. Here are some questions that may help you assess each candidate: * Whose parenting style, values, and religious beliefs most closely match your own? * Who is most able, emotionally and physically, to take care of your child/children? (If you have life insurance and a trust, most likely the guardian will be given financial means to assist in raising your children.) * Who does your child feel comfortable with already? * Will your child have to move far away, and will this pose any problems? * Does the person you’re considering have other children? If so, how do the children get along? * Does the person have enough time and energy to devote to your child? While some experts advise discussing the possibility of guardianship with each potential candidate before making your decision, you don’t have to. For me, I know this would be especially hard since I’m fairly sure that more than one friend or family member would like to have the job. If this sounds familiar, consider discussing your options privately and when you make your decision, just tell the person you have chosen to make sure she/he agrees. This person will be named in your will or living trust. And, luckily, these documents aren’t set in stone. “Keep in mind, you can always change your plan. Name the best person now, and in five years, you may have met a couple with similar nurturing skills or your relatives may have matured into better parents. Your choice is not permanent. Every decision we make today can only be based on the best of our knowledge today. If tomorrow changes, then you can change your plan,” says Paula.