Jacques Pepin Is Misunderstood

By: Allison Walters (View Profile)

Thursday rolls around and it’s time to prepare for my party. I get my list together (transfer funds from savings to checking) and head to Whole Foods. My job as a household manager requires a daily trip to Whole Foods so I am a very familiar face around the store, which makes this story all the more humiliating.

I squeeze into a surprisingly empty parking spot, in the all too tiny parking garage (this location is perpetually packed), pull out my list and I’m on my way.

Quick chat with the meat department man and I have my chicken (boned to perfection, because they like me here). “Hi” to the produce dude and the onions are in my cart. Onto isle 4: baking. Granulated sugar, bittersweet chocolate and I can’t find the chefsnet purée? That’s weird. Whole Foods usually has everything. I better ask someone.

To shelf stocker lady, “Hi, I’m looking for chefsnet purée, it’s supposed to be in the baking section?”

She quickly replies, “Never heard of it, check in Specialties.”

Makes sense. Specialties is where they carry the brandied cherries so it’s likely there. Sporting the usual smile I approach the Specialties counter, “Hi. No fancy cheese today, I’m actually looking for a specialty item; chefsnet purée, do you carry it here?”

“Hmm, no we don’t have it and I’m not even sure I know what that is, let’s go over and talk to the bakers they’ll know.” They are so helpful at Whole Foods. 

We walk to the bakery and again, I’m met with a blank stare. I explain to the man in white that I NEED chefsnet purée for this to-die-for chocolate cake. “It’s the pièce de résistance”. They still don’t know.

Grappling for some sort of understanding they inquire more, “So it’s an unbaked chocolate cake, like a ganache, and you use chefsnet purée it in? Sorry Miss, I just don’t know, maybe try Dean and Deluca”. Sympathetically I try to make excuses for them, “Maybe you are just out. It was on last weekend’s Cooking with Jacques.” Surely I wasn’t the only one wanting to make this cake.

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posted: 06.29.2007
Nikki Clancy
Great story! Had me guessing what "chefsnet" was the entire time.
posted: 06.22.2007
Juliette Betancourt
Oh, chestnut purée, but of course! Hi-LAR-ious!
posted: 06.22.2007
Brie Cadman
I love that a group of whole foods people stood around for five minutes or so scratching their heads while reading your product request card. Probably took them a few readings aloud to figure out what the heck the frenchie meant!
posted: 06.21.2007
Monique Peterson
This is hilarious. You had me laughing the whole time. Loved it! And am now equally inspired to go make some "best of ass" cake!
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