Most people don’t want their house to look like a used-toy warehouse, but when it comes down to getting rid of the clutter, they just can’t let go. Why is it that we cling to items of no apparent value? Here are three reasons why people hang on to things: grief, thrift and denial. But first, a short story.
Laura’s story...
Twenty-three years ago, when I was sixteen years old, my mom passed away. She was forty-six. Reality set in very quickly when my Grandma told my brother and me that we could take anything we wanted from the house. One of the first places I wandered into that day was my mom’s bedroom. There sat her purse, a reminder that “you can’t take it with you when you go.” Seeing my mom’s purse that day could not have been a bigger eye-opener for me. Although, I could've “taken” anything I wanted from my mom’s house to my dad’s house—to me it was just “stuff.” The memories were in a few precious things that I eventually kept—such as our pictures, my mom’s recipes, our Christmas ornaments, some of her piano music, (she was a piano teacher), and some of her jewelry.
I don’t miss any of the other stuff, because after all, I have those few special treasures that I will always cherish—those that give me the greatest memory.
Why do I tell you this story? Because I had the opportunity to hang on to so many things that I did not “need” that would just take up space and that I would probably never use.
Grieving
A very common reason for clinging to “things” is because often those things remind us of someone who is no longer in our life. We save souvenirs from trips we took with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, deceased spouses, or relatives who have passed on.
Why do we hold on to these items so tenaciously?
Part of the answer is that they hold precious memories of the past. We project the meaning of those memories onto objects from those time periods or vacations. The other part of the answer is that we are still in the process of grieving.
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