This year my son is turning thirteen. So we’re just beginning to get Bar Mitzvah invitations. Here in Los Angeles, it’s a must to send a blanket invite to the entire grade. In my son’s case, that’s one hundred kids. The invites have been a source of hilarity at our house, as each one we receive is more upscale than the last. Being a purveyor of posh stationery, I can tell you that some of the “heavier” invites must cost $20 each. That’s more than I shelled out for my wedding stationary—not to mention what my parents ponied up for my Bat Mitzvah!
Venues are generally the posh private members’ clubs and swanky restaurants and hotels. And, the parties generally end around 10:30 p.m. One recent Bar Mitzvah was held at a popular nightspot on Sunset in Hollywood. Pick-up? Bloody Midnight!
Like all teen parties these days, the kids bop around to pop music. The scene is quite odd really: wealthy, mostly Caucasian, kids dancing to street music and attempting to be down-home and dirty (or “pimp” as they call it) as they shout the misogynistic and hate-filled lyrics of rap.
Quite frankly, I find it obscene that parents spend so much on their parties. It always feels as though the parents are trying to out-do each other. If you’re familiar with the movie, Keeping up with the Steins where the plot revolves around a Brentwood family throwing the Uber-Bar Mitzvah, you know what I mean.
For example, today I came home after schlepping the kids all over tarnation for after school activities, and spied a twelve-inch square box. What could it be? I lifted the lid to reveal the mother of all invitations! Sitting in a nest of curly, angel hair pasta-like wood shavings was a hand-painted tambourine. It was a beautiful work of art, depicting the first song that appears in the Torah.
And there’s more. The explanation of the relationship between the musical instrument and the Bat Mitzvah girl is offered on gold, pink, and cream colored stationery. It spells out the significance of the Bar Mitzvah girl and the scene depicted on the tambourine.
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