The Seduction Meal: A Valentine’s Menu to Remember

There’s a joke in my family that my father, who became a bachelor again in his forties, was king of The Seduction Meal. When, over twenty years ago, he was courting my stepmother, he wooed her with a sensual meal of steamed asparagus and King crab legs. It wasn’t until months later, when my stepmother was flipping through one of her son’s Playboy magazines (which she’d found on the floor while cleaning his room) that she saw an article titled, “The Perfect Seduction Meal.” Candlelight, soft music, asparagus, and King crab legs. My father’s secrets were out.

Valentine’s Day might be for lovers, but it can put too much pressure on whoever is doing the wooing. My past Valentine’s Days with boyfriends are not the memories I dwell on when reflecting upon past romantic experiences. On Valentine ’s Day, we usually forced ourselves to go to a fancy restaurant because we felt we had to. The meal inevitably finished with us looking into each other’s sullen faces as we shared an overpriced crème brulée, our high expectations dashed.

I’ve vowed that I will never do the roses-and-dinner Valentine’s Day celebration again. Therefore I’ve collected some of our favorite recipes—along with some naughty toys and games for your pleasure—so that your Valentine’s Day can be a lot more memorable than mine ever were.

Flirting

• Strip Me Poker.
  You don’t have to know how to play poker; if it’s only Go-Fish, then so be it. Just make sure whoever loses each round also loses one item of clothing. You want to keep the thigh-high stockings, garter belt, and brassiere on as long as possible, for added heat to steam up the room, so try for good hands.
• Dining Room Confessions.
  Just as appetizers are used to awaken the palette, lighting candles can help awaken the right mood—as well as shedding light on the erotica you read as your partner rubs your … feet. I’ve done all the dirty work for your benefit in the article, Eroticize Your Mate.

Eating

• To Loosen Up and Sex Up: Champagne.
  It should pop for Valentine’s Day—as well as New Year’s—so you can both toast the things you love the most about one another. Here’s a recipe for a Classic Champagne Cocktail—a bubbly drink with a twist.