Pat and Norma

After I finished, she would nod her head in approval and leave to tell my dad. They would have a whispered conversation in Tagalog and then my dad would come to me with a request for wine or beer. While I made dinner, my dad would relax with a drink in the living room and savor the smell of my cooking. Often my mom would sit on a stool in the kitchen and chat with me, watching how I did this or that, tasting little bits of everything and enjoying her role as guest and spectator. When everything was ready, Norma would get my kids to help her set the table and Pat would pour three glasses of wine for himself, my mom, and me.

In the mornings, I would make us coffee and boil extra water for tea or oatmeal. In addition to my kids’ breakfast of toast, cold or hot cereal, and some fruit, I helped my mom prepare sausage links and scrambled eggs for her and my dad. While they read the newspaper and leisurely ate their breakfast, I would race out the door with the kids and drop them off at their schools. My parents would have an agenda for the day: more food shopping at Trader Joes, go for walks into town, or drive to CVS for some pharmaceutical product. They would be gone for hours, driving around or walking around, going from place to place, exploring my town or the surrounding towns. I would draw maps for them so they wouldn’t get lost. It was a new adventure for them each day. When the kids came home from school, they would spend hours playing with Mama and Papa, making them dance, sing, read, and draw. And in the evenings after the kids were put to bed, I had long conversations with my parents about everything from their traveling plans to financial advice, from how to use a dishwasher to what kind of sofa they should get for their new condo. Sometimes my dad would fall asleep on the sofa and my mom would have to scold him to go upstairs and lay down.