Phat Shui: White Girl With a Fat Ass

By: Kelly Jean Fitzsimmons (View Profile)

Some tips: 

  • Red is the color associated with a charging metabolism. So paint the bottom of your vegetable crisper red thus making your body charge like a bull towards healthy greens.
  • Polka dots are a power pattern and can heighten pleasure. Place a small piece of chocolate on a polka-dotted plate in the middle of your fridge. This will heighten the pleasure center of your food supply’s base and reduce the amount of caloric intake needed to sustain hunger.
  • Remember the art of Phat Shui is absorbed like vital nutrients, not chewed on like overcooked steak. Swim away, Grasshopper. Swim away.


Help me raise money and awareness for hunger relief while I strive to overcome lifelong food and body image issues. Ashamed at being unable to control my eating, I decided cleaning my plate wasn’t helping starving children anywhere—but there are positive things I can do every day to help end hunger and inspire myself to be healthy. If you’d like to donate towards my goal, click here. If you want to peruse more of Kelly Jean’s foibles, visit her blog at www.jellykean.wordpress.com.

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posted: 04.06.2008
Mark Roddey
Darlin', I love your style of writing and your wit.
posted: 04.02.2008
Krae
Phat Shui should be a BOOK!!
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