How is Your Extra Weight Serving You?

“We moved fourteen times by the time I finished high school. I had to keep re-establishing and proving myself.” With the pattern of yo-yoing between becoming lean and buff, and getting fat and out of shape, and then starting to workout again, he continued having to prove himself.

“I’m holding onto this weight, while I seem to be in a holding pattern waiting on my husband and on my boss to make decisions that affect me.” Her opinion wasn’t welcomed when she was a child. Her weight said that this wasn’t OK with her spirit.

We also turn to food for very important reasons:

“When I was nineteen years old, people complimented me on my beauty. I wanted them to see my inner beauty, substance, and intelligence which I thought I didn’t have and wanted to develop, so I gained weight to take my outer beauty away.” People acknowledging each other for who they are on the inside remained a strong value to her. She gained weight again when her daughters became teenagers.

“When I was twelve years old, ice cream was the only sweetness I could find. I had to do endless work on the farm and didn’t get to play, learn music, do sports or extracurricular activities at school. I thought that happiness was for other people, not for me.” As a grown woman, she continued to put herself into a job where there was endless work to do, with no time for anything else—and found some relief by eating candy bars on her long commute home.

“When I was six years old, I was sexually violated. No one was talking about it, and I felt helpless. I also thought that if I was bigger, I’d be able to protect and help myself, like an adult. Today I eat whenever I feel anxious because I worry that I won’t know what to do or how to deal with a situation.”

“I eat when I’m bored. My parents had a lot to deal with when I was a kid. They didn’t want me to have needs or show emotions. I once cried in violin class, which ended up being very embarrassing. That day, I went to the candy shop across the street and I felt better.” Whenever she had a need, or felt an emotion, she would get “bored” instead, and fill that need by eating sweets.