Are You Thinking What I’m Thinking?! Makeover! Girlie Squeal

The makeover craze is not gender neutral. Although men are aware of their appearances more than ever before, women continue to be the prime subjects of these makeover stories. The beauty industry supports this desire for physical change by teaching women that they are perpetually flawed, but that everything is fixable. Women pay huge sums of money to remove their fat, rip out their body hair, eliminate their wrinkles, plug their holes and smooth their surfaces, all in an effort to make the female body as glossy and flawless as possible. Celebrity magazines reinforce the unhealthy tendency to hyper-scrutinize other women’s bodies (and as a result, to hyper-scrutinize ourselves). Covers are often filled with close-up images of stars’ cellulite in a demonstration of disgust with these physical traits. Sweat stains and excess cleavage are also the subject of close examination and distaste. Male bodies are simply not monitored in the same manner. In this way, women learn that an unruly body is an undesirable one.

Nothing baffles people more than a fat woman who doesn’t feel bad about herself. The rule is that if you’re fat, you should be making an effort to lose weight. Television programs like The Biggest Loser and X-Weighted fulfill our desire to see this out-of-control flesh tighten up and become less offensive. Personal trainers with the personalities of fascist dictators whip participants into shape. We come to understand that hard work and determination will always save the day. It’s the capitalist work ethic in action! We also learn that if you want to have the desired body, you must maintain a tight control over every calorie that enters your mouth. This is the part that infuriates me, because let’s face it, a world without beer and nachos is not a world I want to live in. It is no longer about just looking good. It becomes a lifestyle choice. Either you live your life calculating the risk of a chocolate chip cookie, or you live your life with pleasure and love handles.

Amongst women, eating disorders are now the norm. I know more girls who have them than don’t. It is a depressing (and incredibly boring) state of affairs. The popular obsession with slenderness goes a long way to control female behavior. Anorexics just don’t do good keg stands and, realistically, who wants to hang out with someone who can’t give ‘er once in a while?