Ten Foods You’ll Find, Eat, and Regret at the State Fair

I love food—the greasier the better. So any day that includes deep-fried calamari with warm marinara sauce is a good day—no, a great day—by my standards. There’s no better place to get your greasy grub on than at a state fair. But these people take deep-frying to a whole new level, a level that makes my fried calamari look like child’s play. This list of the most outlandish state fair delicacies puts the Carl’s Jr. Bacon Cheese Six Dollar Burger to shame.

1. Krispy Kreme Burger
Stop wiping your glasses, you read it right—Krispy Kreme Burger. A cheeseburger with bacon, except the “bun” is two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Created by a minor-league baseball club, this baby costs $4.50 and it packs well over 1,000 calories. (Just one glazed donut has 10 grams of sugar.) It’s usually taken with four Lipitor.

Photo source: Drunken Bleachers

2. Kool-Aid Dill Pickles (Koolickle)
To make a Kool-Aid pickle, just dump out half the brine in the pickle jar and refill it with your favorite flavor of Kool-Aid. The pickle will turn a glowing red or neon green depending on what flavor you use. But if you hit pretty much any state fair in the South, you can save yourself the trouble of making it and just buy one from a vendor instead. An elementary school in Indianola makes and sells them in their cafeteria. They are in the process of obtaining a patent license. Lucky us.

Photo source: Deep Fried Kudzu

3. Deep-Fried Drinks
From your breakfast drink to your late-night cocktail, the state fair has you covered (in fatness and goodness).

Latte: I take my morning latte with soy milk and splenda. Carnies take theirs with pastry batter and ice cream. A deep fried latte is made with ice cream, cappuccino ice cream (duh, it’s coffee), whipped cream, caramel sauce, and is sprinkled with some instant coffee powder. The Deep-Fried Latte made its debut at the 2007 Texas state fair. Creator Mike Levy said, “We have gained about ten pounds trying this.” The best part of waking up is an artery-clogger in your cup.

Deep-Fried Coke: I’m not lying, folks—deep-fried Coke. Coke syrup, mixed with funnel cake batter, deep-fried, and drizzled with some more syrup. I almost forgot; it’s drenched with whipped cream and a cherry. This masterpiece won an award at the ’06 Texas State Fair and sold 10,000 cups in its first week. Plus, it only has a mere 830 calories. Give me a cup of that sugary, syrupy goodness. (Photo below.)

Deep-Fried Cosmopolitan: I doubt the Sex and the City chicks sucked these down. A deep-fried cosmopolitan is actually a fried pastry overflowing with cheesy cheesecake, drizzled with a fruity glaze, and topped with a hunk of lime. Obviously, it’s served up on a stick.

Photo source: Willrad