First off, to get this out of the way, No, it’s not about THAT kind of bathroom stuff, although it would probably come as no surprise to everyone if I actually did write about poop, pee, and farts.
I’m always being made fun of the fact that my morning and night bathroom routines are so meticulous, and tonight, after going through my normal “getting ready for bed” routine, I thought, “No wonder why it takes so long for me to fall asleep!” My bathroom routine is so thorough and lengthy that it brings me to full alertness and wide-awake-ness. It goes exactly like this:
1. Change into PJs
2. Put my hair in a ponytail and a headband to get my bangs out of the way
3. Brush my teeth for a full two minutes, which my electric toothbrush so conveniently times for me
4. Floss
5. Gargle Listerine
6. Wet Face
7. Wash face
8. If it is a Thursday or a Sunday, perform microdermabrasion (by Neutrogena) on face
9. Wipe face and wait for it to dry completely
10. Apply benzoyl peroxide (acne treatment) all over face
11. Wait for BP to dry
12. Remove contacts, clean them, and put them in case
13. Apply moisturizer to face and neck
14. Pop nightguard in my mouth
15. Take off headband and ponytail
Yup, it’s a fifteen-step process every single night. Then there are those nights when you come home late and you’re sooo sleepy that all you want to do is go to bed, right? We’ve all had those nights. Even if I wanted to just get into my PJs and slip right into bed (and believe me, I’ve REALLY wanted to many nights), I can’t! Just the thought of all that plaque and food and other junk stuck in my teeth the whole night or my face breaking out with pimples overnight freaks the heck out of me! So I end up telling myself I’m just going to brush my teeth and wash my face and that’s it, but I end up doing the whole routine anyway.
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