Fear, Relief, Gratitude, and Tequila

I had an ultrasound guided biopsy. All I can say is thank God for Valium. The hubby drove us to the appointment. The surgeon said he wanted to first biopsy a lymph node under my right armpit that showed a little something off on the MRI films. Biopsy a lymph node? What? That freaked me out. I told him that sounded scary to me and he asked why. "Because, I associate lymph nodes with bad things." I could not bring myself to use the word cancer. Apparently a breast MRI is highly sensitive to any type of abnormality, no matter how miniscule. It had taken 2,000 images of my breasts.

He took out about a tablespoon of issue from the suspect area. The surgeon told me during the biopsy that it was symptomatic of a benign tumor. He didn't seem concerned. The biopsy itself was not too bad, but the numbing of the lymph node area felt like a bee sting.

Yesterday I had my post-op appointment. I was fearful but every time I thought negative things I pushed them out of my mind. I also slept better Thursday night than I have in a long time. I could feel my friends' prayers and positive thoughts at work. A nurse led the hubby and I to the examining room and told me to do the familiar "get undressed from the waist up and put on the gown" thing and as she was looking over my information she told me that I could cancel my April follow-up appointment that had originally been scheduled in January. I took that as a good sign. And it was.

The wonderful nurse who had first examined me and who had assisted during the biopsy, the nurse who had asked about "my babies" during the procedure, came in the room. She said, "I have great news. You are just fine." I started to cry a little because I was so happy and relieved. She handed me a tissue. She said she had been watching for my pathology reports to come in.

I am OK. Thank you, Jesus. And thank you to everyone who prayed for me.

The hubby took me to lunch after the appointment and I ordered a margarita. He made sure it was a top-of-the line model.

And the original pea-size lump? Apparently it was just a cyst that vanished.

Why did I go through this? Why? I don't know. Some cool things happened along the way that I will probably write about that, in retrospect, were signs that I was OK. I'm not the most religious person in the world, but whether you believe in God or karma, there were undoubtedly signs.

I will try to not take my health for granted. And I implore you to do the same.