Nothing like a little guilt to get your mom in shape! If she failed to use the membership, I planned to tell her, “I can’t come see you at Christmas because I wasted all that money on your gym membership you didn’t use.” Boy! Something about that just makes me feel so good inside. (See? I told you I’m not a very nice daughter!)
But to my great surprise, mom is still using that gym membership. And she even went to the “boobtique” to get her new prosthesis. In fact, she sent me another email that made me laugh so hard I started crying. It goes something like this:
“I got my prosthesis yesterday. I’m so glad the insurance is paying for most of it. It was $267 and the bra with the place to insert the prosthesis to hold it in place is $43. Now that’s a mighty expensive boob! It is flesh colored and feels like a real one, even has a hint of a nipple. If I ever get really smashed, I guess I could have a ‘feel’ contest and see how many people can guess which one is real.
“Wearing it is going to take some getting used to. It weighs more than the one I have left, but it looks like the same size. I wore it yesterday when I went to my session at the gym and I found out that was a mistake. I wore it in a sports bra (and not one of the bras with the slot to insert it in). The lady at the ‘boobtique’ said it could be worn in a regular bra. WRONG!! She and the other lady there were super nice and so helpful, but someone with two itty bitty titties really should not be advising someone with one big real one and one big fake one that it will work in a regular bra. There was nothing in the regular bra to hold it in place and all the movement of the machine made it work up and almost out of the bra. Under my shirt it looked like I had a boob on my collar bone. I kept pushing it back down so it wouldn’t come out completely. It might have been fun to see the young girl’s face if it had fallen out and hit the floor. I could have told her she had set the speed too fast and it caused my implant to come out.
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