My Life

Well, I’m not exactly sure where to start. I guess from the beginning. I’ve been on this journey for almost thirty-five years. I have a wonderful family. My mother, a true southern lady. Strong, beautiful, funny, talented, Think Steel Magnolias meets Fried Green Tomatoes. My sister, well she’s also strong, fearless, outspoken, the life of every party, beautiful, headstrong, and she always has a lot to say. My brother, an amazing gentleman who is so talented, driven, always knows what he wants, and has paved the way for our family to cross some heavy boundaries. I’m so proud of them. My mother was a single mother. She raised my brother and sister and I with help from my grandparents. She earned her degree, put a roof over our heads, was there for ballet recitals, girl scouts, little league, and church. Like I said earlier they are all special.

I’m not exactly sure why I’m writing this, maybe I feel that this will cleanse my soul, and ease my troubled spirit. I’m almost thirty-five years old, I’ve been sick for twenty of those years. Today it feels like such a heavy burden to carry. I was diagnosed with Chron’s disease when I was fifteen when I had my first surgery. I’ve had two since then. Since I started the remediate treatments which I get every six weeks I haven’t been hospitalized in one and a half years. Which is good considering I was in the hospital to stay once a month for at least three to seven days for two and a half years. I have to take a lot of medicine and deal with the flare- ups, and all the other issues and problems that this disease entails. I get chronic kidney stones, I have rheumatoid arthritis, in my joints all over, especially one to two weeks away from my treatment. Everything from my toes, knees, back, hip, torso, arms, wrist fingers. It has been so bad that I couldn’t lift my arms or open my fingers. I have a toddler that wants to play with mommy. My heart breaks. My marriage is ruined, and I can’t keep a job. I’m trying to stay positive, I usually do, but today I’m having a bad day, or I should say bad week. I just needed to get all this out.