December 30, I was going to the hospital to visit her and she was not in her room. I ask a nurse, where is she? The nurse said they just took her to intensive care. So I took off for the intensive care unit. I walked in her room there were 3 or 4 nurses in with her and I was not paying any attention, I walked all the way to the foot of her bed, they were bagging her, her face was blue. Her face looked like a big bruise. It looked like she was fighting them, I seen one of her eyes part of the way open, she was looking at me. That being my sister I wanted to help her so much. But I couldn’t, I backed all the way to the door scared to death. Then they told me to go to the waiting room. The nurse said the only reason they moved her was she would not leave her ventilator alone. On life support again. And induce coma again. I told her everyday I love her and to keep fighting it.
We was joking around in November, she said she was going to see if the hospital would admit her, so she can get a vacation away from the kids, we laughed. Not knowing anything was fixing to happen.
December 31, when I was at the hospital, her temperature was 107.1. She had pneumonia again, but this time is was caused from bacteria from her own body attacking her lungs, the doctor was in the room with us, he said he wasn’t worried about her fever, she was not breathing any on her on. The doctor said again, she has bulimia, she is starving to death. And if it was from the gastric bypass it would have happened within the first week, not years later. How were we to know that? We believed what she was telling us. A total of three doctors said it this time. We told the doctor she denied having bulimia and he said she would deny it until she dies. The doctor said she looks like she is from a third world country, Her teeth had rotted out, she had osteoporosis, She had a crack in one of the bones in her back from a fall, and the doctor said if she falls again it will break her hip. The doctors said she is 35, and she has the body of an 80-year-old woman. These are just a few things that were wrong with her.
I went to the hospital everyday, hoping she would walk out like she did last year.
Cathy’s Secret
By: Brenda Martin (View Profile)
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I am so very sorry for your loss. I have a brother , no sister, but he is the dearest thing in the world to me, no friend can share all your memories and experiences. I know you've heard time and again that this wasn't your fault, but you have to beleve it. Bulimia is a terrible, terrifying disease and people that have it often have the gene for addiction. You did say your sister was addicted to Morphine. You were fighting an uphill battle, but knowing you were there for her, even though she sometimes acted as though she lied, must have been a tremendous comfort to her. Now...comfort yourself. It's time to allow yourself son\me peace. My thoughts are with you,and your family.
Hi Brenda, your story is heartbreaking. I want to thank you for sharing it with us, I know that it will help others who are going thru loss. You are in my thoughts.
Sometimes things happen that have no rhyme or reason. We find ourselves in situations we never thought we would have to endure, faced with hurt and loss, sadness and ache. The best we can do is be present with ourselves and be there with the ones we are supporting, which you did. Thank you for sharing your story, it is an important step in your healing process to open up to others and tell what you have gone through.
Brenda - I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Know that you did all you could, it sounds like you were a wonderful sister to Cathy who cared for her very very much and did everything in your power to help her. Your story hits close to home because I have been struggling with bulimia for about 4 years now and am on the road to recovery so I can tell you from experience that people with bulimia don't want to admit they have a problem, lies get rationalized until we believe it is the truth. I believe in your grief you can help girls that are dealing with bulimia. You may also find it healing for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so, so sorry for your loss...I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose a sister. But you have to know that you did all you could. Bulimia is partially about control so I'm guessing she made a huge effort to hide it from you until she couldn't hide it anymore. Maybe you can find a support group for families of people who suffer bulimia, or if not a support group, there are quite a few counselors and therapists who specialize in helping with this. In either case, it's important to remember that this was not your fault.
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