Cathy’s Secret

By: Brenda Martin (View Profile)

She was my only sister. We talked about everything, except for the problem she had. Seven or eight years ago she had a gastric bypass. Then she weighed 340 lbs., she had dropped down to 89 lbs. She was 5’8” tall.

A few years ago she had to have open heart surgery, a blood clot had went to her heart, because of a box they had put in her chest, she was severely malnourished, that is how she got her vitamins. After the surgery she became addicted to Morphine.

Last January my sister was admitted to the hospital in intensive care. She had aspiration pneumonia. Her lungs kept filling up as fast as they could get them drained, She had inhaled her vomit. And her lungs kept filling up trying to flush it self out, she was drowning. She laid their one life support for a few weeks. Her fever had got up to 108.5 degrees. The doctor said she has bulimia. She had been put in an induced coma. They believed because she was in a coma, it helped her. I told her that the doctor said she had bulimia. And she said the doctor does not no what he is talking about. She blamed her sickness on her gastric bypass and the Morphine. I told her somebody has given you a second chance. So she told me she was going to change her life.

In October she took me out to eat, afterwards she said she had to go to the restroom, I said I do too. When we got in the restroom she just stood there, and I said go Cathy. So she did, I went in mine and she went in hers. I heard her throwing up, the first thing that I thought of was bulimia, she had been blaming her sickness on the gastric bypass and the Morphine. All I told her was you just wasted that money. Now I realize she was waiting on me to leave. I would give anything to have that day back. I would have gone with what I first thought. She maybe would still be here. Why did I not listen to myself?

I talked to Cathy about her Morphine problem. We all thought since she was in the hospital last, our parents took care of her for 4 months, before she went home so she would not have to go to a nursing home. Our dad took the Morphine from her, thought he had weaned her off of it. So we thought. Occasionally her husband would come and pick her up and take her home for a few hours to be with her family. I guess she had a stash there.

December 22, she was admitted back to the hospital in post intensive care. They had said she had colitis, and that she was fixing to come home. December 25, the last time I got to really talk to my sister was Christmas day.

December 26, she had an oxygen mask on and they were keeping her doped up, she knew I was there but did not try to talk a lot, she was having a hard time keeping her mask on. I could not understand if she just had colitis and fixing to come home then why the oxygen? We were so happy.

December 27, she had been put on the ventilator again.

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posted: 06.25.2007
Flower 65
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have a brother , no sister, but he is the dearest thing in the world to me, no friend can share all your memories and experiences. I know you've heard time and again that this wasn't your fault, but you have to beleve it. Bulimia is a terrible, terrifying disease and people that have it often have the gene for addiction. You did say your sister was addicted to Morphine. You were fighting an uphill battle, but knowing you were there for her, even though she sometimes acted as though she lied, must have been a tremendous comfort to her. Now...comfort yourself. It's time to allow yourself son\me peace. My thoughts are with you,and your family.
posted: 05.16.2007
Suha Araj
Hi Brenda, your story is heartbreaking. I want to thank you for sharing it with us, I know that it will help others who are going thru loss. You are in my thoughts.
posted: 05.16.2007
Caroline Boussenot
Sometimes things happen that have no rhyme or reason. We find ourselves in situations we never thought we would have to endure, faced with hurt and loss, sadness and ache. The best we can do is be present with ourselves and be there with the ones we are supporting, which you did. Thank you for sharing your story, it is an important step in your healing process to open up to others and tell what you have gone through.
posted: 05.15.2007
Meredith
Brenda - I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Know that you did all you could, it sounds like you were a wonderful sister to Cathy who cared for her very very much and did everything in your power to help her. Your story hits close to home because I have been struggling with bulimia for about 4 years now and am on the road to recovery so I can tell you from experience that people with bulimia don't want to admit they have a problem, lies get rationalized until we believe it is the truth. I believe in your grief you can help girls that are dealing with bulimia. You may also find it healing for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
posted: 05.04.2007
Rebecca Brown
I am so, so sorry for your loss...I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose a sister. But you have to know that you did all you could. Bulimia is partially about control so I'm guessing she made a huge effort to hide it from you until she couldn't hide it anymore. Maybe you can find a support group for families of people who suffer bulimia, or if not a support group, there are quite a few counselors and therapists who specialize in helping with this. In either case, it's important to remember that this was not your fault.
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