Well, that was nine years ago and that natural high has long worn off. Now the bulimia has pretty much controlled my life. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about is what can I binge and purge on. This is what I think about all day long. Even if I eat a normal meal I have that little devil in my head telling me I should get rid of it. My body has become so used to it that all I have to do is lean over and it comes right back up. It’s also an expensive disorder. I can’t even begin to comprehend on how much money I’ve spent on food. They say the longer you have an ED the harder it is to get under control. I’ve lost all of control and don’t know if I can ever get it back. It’s hard and it sucks and I’m tired of it.
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I struggled with the same thing for 8 years. Mine started exactly like yours. If you want support and need to talk to someone who understands don't hesitate to message me. I know what you are going through, I have been there. I am now recovering and feel great and free. I want you to feel this same way. What you are doing is not worth it. It is not what life is about. I wish you the best
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