What Every Parent Needs to Know About Bulimia Nervosa

• Immediate trips to the bathroom following meals
• The use of running water in the bathroom to hide the noise of vomiting
• Constant sore throats
• Cuts/teeth marks on the forefingers as a result of biting when the person sticks a finger down his or her throat to purge
• Empty wrappers found in hiding places around the house to conceal binges
• Discussion of weight and a focus on body image
• Large quantities of food found missing that nobody in the house claims to have eaten or been aware of
• Actual observation of binges, purging, fasting, and/or excessive exercise

Many patients with Bulimia say it’s a physical way they can handle chaos in their lives. It also helps them take attention off something else in their lives that’s highly distressing, such as a death of a parent, sibling illness, parental conflict, or school failure. By engaging in these behaviors, they literally fill themselves up and then purge away their distress. The binging behavior represents the chaotic feelings they have in their life and the purging or non-purging methods give them back this control. It’s no wonder that this cycle can become highly habit forming.

As a parent, it’s important to know that if your child has an eating disorder, she/he has it for a reason. Do NOT tell her/him to stop the behavior. This doesn’t work and will only cause your child to be more secretive about the problem. On the other hand, it would be completely inappropriate to encourage this behavior in any way. Eating disorders do fulfill some need for the individual, but the goal is to try to understand what that need is so that you can support your child to engage in alternative behaviors that will fulfill the same need. This work should be done in counseling sessions with a trained professional who can work with you and your child.

It’s best to avoid power struggles when trying to obtain information. Don’t minimize the information you receive or deny that there’s a problem. If you’re unsure if there’s a problem, simply let your child know that you’ll be seeking the services of an expert to help assess the severity of the situation. If your daughter had chest pains, you would take her to a cardiologist. If your son had cancer, you take him to an oncologist. Let your child know that all of her/his health care needs will be attended to because you care.