Usually, when life would turn in the direction it is now, I would resort to self-destruction. But today I am amazed to say that I have been handling life’s emotional stressors one step at a time. I’m finally learning to just stop and breathe for a second before I go off the deep end. The depression doesn’t heal too much and the medication I am on seems to have a numbing effect on me but at least I’ve learned that cutting doesn’t do anything but leave a scar on my flesh—a reminder of pain I had once attempted to forget. I’ve decided to stop for good but then again I’ve been down this road so many times in the past that I’ve lost count. It’s been over a month however since I hurt myself so that’s always a good thing. As far as the eating situation goes, I’ve been starting to make improvements on my eating habits. I weigh about 135 lbs and although I’d love to weigh about twenty pounds less, I’d rather it be healthily.
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Hi, Nic R, The tone in your post comes through as determined. I like that very much. Nothing glamorous or exciting or dramatic or instananeous in your sharing, which is great. You describe the step by step, minute by minute business of living and healing in such tiny increments that you don't even notice you actually are healing. And you are definitely sharing a recovery post, Nic R. I've heard several 12 step people complain about the program phrase, "trudge" to happy destiny. "Why can't we run or dance our way to happy destiny?" they ask. You know why. Because often trudging is what is required to get us through the challenges life presents clear on to a healing place. Brava, Nic R! http://eatingdisorderstoday.typepad.com/
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