No Hope for Me

Thanks for your article. I'm 42 and still don't feel grown up. Sometimes I feel as helpless as a child. I'm also still suffering from bulimia--mostly laxatives. I can no longer purge by vomiting because I damaged my esophagus by purging with a tooth brush. I had to have emergency surgery on my neck. If I do it again, I'd probably die. But, it helps to hear your story, and others, I so relate to the feelings associated with this and why I numb them out. Thanks again for sharing.

Hi Hope. When I was 15, I started the cycle of bingeing and purging...now I'm almost 36 and have not gone more than a week without doing this. My parents never really understood and pretty much ignored the issue and just thought I was 'being wasteful'. I've been married and divorced twice and I COMPLETELY understand when you wrote that you still don't feel like a grown-up. I've been to therapy twice. Once when I was 18 for like 2 sessions...it was back when not much was known about eating disorders, and I tried again last year (again, I only went twice). I'm afraid that because this has been so much a part of my existance for more than half my life now, I wouldn't know how to be without it. That is a sick statement, I know. I just wanted you to know that you're saying that you are a 36-year-old-girl, really hit home with me. I'm still waiting for the day I feel like an adult.

Thank you for sharing, you're not alone and your words can inspire others to remain hopeful, staying on the path to your true self. Never give up, you will conquer this.

My name is Mary Anne Mackey-Wisor and I volunteer for www.theonemag.com as a writer and fundraiser. We would very much like for you to let us use your articles from Divine Caroline, or to ask you to write for us, There is no compensation only the knowledge that you are helping us fight eating disorders and domestic violence. Through her 2nd husband Sharon Fisher Basset who died from domestic violence and eating disorder, started fund is through Bucknell University and is used for trainings and teachings to fight domestic violence. We are a voluntary bunch who write, fundraise or what ever we can do to get the word out. Picking up the pieces is a new section, which started December first 2007. Which celebrated our 2nd anniversary issue. We are hoping to have one article a month from a professional and one from the community. I am requesting to use information from your page or if a professional would consider writing an article. contact me wisors@verizon.net