“With my own kids, I said, ‘I’m going to do this right.’ We knew how to build self-esteem and how to praise and as a parent, you may see your kid as moody, but kids do that, so it’s hard to know when it’s a problem and when it’s a phase. You have to look at other things, and once we started looking, there were a lot of different things [going on with Taryn.]”
Outside the self-esteem issues and normal middle school mean-girl behavior, it was jealousy over a friend who stopped eating that got Taryn started. But it was also the thrill of manipulation that kept her indebted to her own disorder.
“I really loved the manipulation part of it, but once she [Lorri] knew, then it was this game. It was me hiding this from her. It gave me attention and it was a crisis. It was all the attention I had been craving from my friends, and hiding it and playing the game became more intense once she found out.”
In hindsight, Lorri believes it was her daughter’s particular make-up that helped the disorder to sustain itself.
“Part of Taryn’s personality traits and experiences were typical teenage dramas, but they were coupled with her perfectionist and sensitive sides. Plus, the teenage brain chemistry, depression, and moodiness.”
This led to one pivotal moment after her release from her first stay at an eating disorder rehab facility. Taryn’s parents found her in the middle of a kitchen filled with food, and had to walk away while she binged, which is part of what Lorri and her family learned was the best thing to do in a such a heated moment.
“It was like she was taken over by evil while caught in a binge now and again. It was not our daughter.”
Taryn finally received the help she needed after her second stay in rehab, discovering that only she could be the solution to her own salvation.
“You really need to be committed to recovery in order to recover. Nothing anyone else does will matter, and in-patient [facilities] will help if you apply everything you experience while you’re there.”
