This story begins with a young man who always seemed lost!!! This young man was my brother. He was born one cold afternoon December 1980. He was such a beautiful little boy, my mom’s only little man. He became a fun, energetic toddler, getting into everything. He changed his name over a hundred times, from Hulk, to Heman. This young man’s name is James.
When James got older, life seemed to always take the best of him. He loved people, loved going places. Life just didn't seem to love him. James was very easily influenced by others, he wanted everyone to be his friend, so he did anything they asked pretty much. When James was about 10, he was diagnosed with ADHD, and depression. He was put on meds, which he hated, because he already felt like he was different, now he knew he was different. When he became a teen he wouldn't take his meds any longer. He hated knowing that he had to take meds to control himself. So he started using street drugs. He started hanging out with those that would provide it for him, because those were the only people that truly accepted him for who he was, so he thought. When James grew older, he started going to juvey, then to jail, then to prison. He was such a young boy trapped in a young man’s body.
After James got out of prison, he was 20 years old, he had a 1 year old child and life seemed to be going his way. He lived with me had a very good job that paid him very well. But money never mattered to him. He never cared about material things. After a month or 2, James started hanging out with his old friends, and needless to say he started doing drugs again. As they say misery needs company, and James was an easy target. After 4 months of living this way, James decided it was time to stop. Stop what you ask??
October 16, 2001 James took his own life. That was the worst time in our lives. James decided that he couldn't handle being what he thought everyone thought of him as, a loser. He always wanted to do good for himself, but just never knew how. He was so young at heart and mind, but not in body. To tell you the truth he sucked his thumb up until he died 2 months shy of his 21st birthday.
Life without him has been a challenge.
Young Man
By: Kara Matuzak (View Profile)
1 reader
liked this story.
PREVIOUS PAGE
more from Kara Matuzak
This is Kara Matuzak's first story.
If you enjoyed it, please
leave a comment.
Comments
As I was reading your story, I felt as though It was my sisters story, of her son. He would scream for hours, the older he got the more trouble he would get in, He would hurt himself and call the police to blame it on his mother. That was his way of controlling her. She was a wonderful mother until she got very ill at age 26 with bipolar. he blamed her for that. she was hospitalized for a while and she was so medicated that she was unable to function for a year or more, he lived with his father. After she got better she went on to be a nurse, She wanted to prove to the world that she is OK. I think she felt responsible for his behavior, and tried to get his love back. he was jailed after a car accident, that killed someone. now he has been in and out of the jail system and he is showing sign of bipolar at age 27. he refused to go to his probation hearing this time. he is tired of living now, he is never going to be happy here on earth, He wants to go to Heaven. I believe he will
Your story is so touching, full of so much real emotion. I can tell you are a very strong person by the tone of your story. I am glad you will walk again this year in NYC. The most healthy way to deal with grief is to contribute positively. Thank you for being an inspiration to us all.
Tell us a Story.
You know you've got something to share. Maybe it's something funny, touching, inspirational or informative. Whatever it is, your circle of friends here at DivineCaroline would love to hear from you.
Other topics you might appreciate
