Terror, Part 1

My true story of

A man’s descent into insanity, and almost taking me with him.

“Come in. Now that you are seated and hopefully comfortable, perhaps we can begin now. Would you like some coffee? No. I know that it’s my husband, Freddie, that you are interested in so let me then, 'cut to the chase,’ as one might say. May I suggest that I tell you the entire story, and then you can ask me for whatever specifics you might want.

Freddie was a handsome man and I always thought that his best feature was his startling bright blue eyes. I suppose I must have loved Freddie, at least, with the mind of an eighteen-year-old. Due to my strict upbringing, he was the first man I had ever been romantically involved with. When I married him, he was thirty-six, twice my age, and I was so naïve.

From the beginning, he made it very clear he didn’t like me going anywhere without him. Not wanting to bear the brunt of his anger, I became adjusted to staying home, occupying myself with reading and sewing as there was no TV in those days. Soon the babies started coming, so my time was filled with taking care of them but when they started to school I became restless.

At the post office one day, I saw a notice on the bulletin board announcing job openings at the Pensacola Army Depot, so on the spur of the moment, I turned in an application. If I could get on, it would be a great opportunity for me because the pay was excellent and the generous retirement benefits were an added bonus. I was soon called for testing and was accepted for employment. However, I could tell that Freddie was less than pleased. But I was very excited, to say the least. A whole new world was opening up to me. Little did I know that fateful decision put in motion the chain of events that was the beginning of the living hell of anxiety and fear that would take over my life.

He was always controlling, but now, I saw his personality begin to change in other ways. He became more possessive, jealous, suspicious, and mean-spirited. I do believe the fact that most of my co-workers were men grated on him. And of course, I had been financially dependent on him, so I’m sure my newfound independence and freedom of movement must have been quite a shock to him.

In retrospect, I see that perhaps I was preoccupied with my new job. So much to learn, and I was working ten-hour shifts. To make matters worse, I was assigned to the night shift with Tuesday and Wednesday off and he was off weekends. The Depot was a male-oriented work environment, and I should have been more reticent when I spoke to my husband about my co-workers.

Sometimes, gazing at me intently as if to gauge my reaction, and with an ugly half-grin half-sneer on his face, he would say, “I saw your boyfriend today.” He was jealous of all the guys so I would laughingly ask, “Which one did you see today?” Then he’d call off one of the many names I had casually mentioned and I couldn’t help bursting out laughing at my mental image of the man with whom I was supposed to be romantically involved.

Soon, I began to notice something about him that had not been there before I started working.