If your loved one has nobody to compare himself to on an addiction scale, then he may retaliate with a statement like, “Well at least I don’t overeat the way you do. You have more of a chance of killing yourself with the crap in your body than I do. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got diabetes or died of a heart attack!” As painful as these words may be, remember it’s the person’s way of defending himself because deep down, he knows he has a problem.
Knowing how your loved one may react to the confrontation of his problem helps us understand the importance of being prepared before intervening. First, making a list of examples of how your loved one’s intoxicated behavior has caused problems or put others at risk is important. The list may include direct observation or learned information from a reliable and trusted source as mentioned above. It may also include problems with the legal system (i.e. a DUI, car crash, drunk in public arrest, or bar fight arrest). Other examples may include deterioration in relationships due to intoxication (i.e. missing important dates such as a child’s birthday party, anniversary, funeral, or a feeling that the substance is the person’s main priority and the relationship comes second). Lastly, work or school may be affected by the person’s use (i.e., missing days of work/school due to hangovers, poor performance, or getting fired/suspended or expelled).
After making the list, you should learn as much as you can about alcoholism and drug addiction. Go online, read books, pamphlets, etc. to get as much information as possible. Find out about local AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings. I encourage you to go to the meetings with your loved one to show your support. You may want to look into treatment programs.
Your loved one may need more than just a few meetings per week. He may need a more structured program (either day treatment or residential treatment, which is where they sleep) in order to recover. It’s unlikely with the reaction noted above that the person with a problem will research available and appropriate program options. Therefore, having a few options for them on hand can be helpful. Often people who have been using substances will need to detox from those substances first before they can start in a program. Detox can occur at your local hospital, or some programs offer this component at their site. Detox can be dangerous and therefore is often done under the care of a medical doctor at a facility and not in the home.
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