2) Psychodynamic. You’ll be talking about your mother plenty with this kind of shrink. Psychodynamic therapists believe that the problems you’re having now are rooted in childhood experiences. For example, if you’re dad was a workaholic who ignored you, you might date emotionally unavailable men because you’re trying to prove that you’re lovable to someone who’s a jerk.
3) Family Systems. Marriage and Family therapists often work from this perspective. They’ll look at the role you played in your family and how it’s affecting you now. For example, if you were family’s “scapegoat,” the one who took the blame for all the problems so everyone else could get along, you might not be standing up for yourself and expressing your needs in relationships as an adult.
One of the first things I recommend people do when looking for a therapist is ask people you trust for recommendations. Clergy and physicians can be great resources. If you’re friends with someone who’s a therapist, ask them for a suggestion (but don’t go to them for therapy—it’s unethical and a rotten idea). If a close friend likes a shrink, there’s a good chance you will to, especially if you and your friend share similar perspectives on life. If all else fails, visit Psychology Today’s Web site for a list of therapists in your area.
After you’ve gotten some recommendations, schedule appointments with two or three therapists. I think it’s crucial that you have a session with more than one therapist and pick the one that you feel the most comfortable with. Nothing else is more important. I don’t care if you get a slot with Dr. Phil or a Nobel Prize winner, you need to feel good about talking to them. Follow your instincts. Your guts will tell you to which person they should be spilled. Beyond that, here are few other ways to tell if you’ve landed a gifted healer or a quack.
Good Signs:
You feel comfortable, respected, and understood.
You disclose more private things than you thought you would.
