Now the final question: A man or a woman? You might not like my answer. You need to pick the gender with whom you have the most trouble. Do men drive you insane? You need a male therapist. Can’t develop any close female relationships? You need to see a woman. Though you need to be comfortable with your therapist, you also need to be in the room with someone who’s going to bring out some uncomfortable feelings. If you don’t like men, some of those feelings will come out in therapy and you’ll have a chance to address them directly through the therapeutic relationship. There are exceptions to this rule, however. A woman who was sexually abused by a man might be terrified of trusting another man. You don’t want to be scared of your shrink! However, if you can muster the courage, it’s best to pick the gender that pushes your buttons the most.
With some homework, a little patience and trusting your instincts, you’ll be able to find the best therapist for you. Once you do, you’ll begin a process that can change your life if you let it. You can stop trying to “get over” your problems and start working through them.
